I have always known that I am sensitive to unsolicited advice from relative strangers, but it hasn't been an issue until becoming a mother. Everyone wants to offer their two cents. I know that the people who offer their advice don't mean anything bad by it, but sometimes I come away feeling like a bad mother because they feel like they have to give me advice about how to parent.
Here is one example (of many)...When Eli was 4 weeks old I went on a walk with him in the jogging stroller. It was a beautiful day, with the temperature in the 70's by the afternoon. I bundled Eli in pants, socks, a onesie, a coat with a hoodie, and a hat. He was also snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug in the bundle me that keeps him warm in his car seat. So here it is almost 9:30 a.m. and I'm almost back from the walk. Then a woman in her car at a stop sign pulls to the side of the road and rolls down the window. She asked me if I wanted a ride. I told her, "No thank you, I'm exercising" (it was obvious that I was exercising). She asked how old Eli was, and I told her 4 weeks. She continued to tell me that he must be cold. I told her that I had bundled him up really well, so he was fine. As I started to keep walking she said out the window, "Put something over his mouth--he's going to be cold." Okay, wow. Never did I ever think I would have a random stranger give me advise like that. I know people have the best of intentions when they give advice, but it honestly feels like a put-down to me.
Well, I'm getting off my soap box now. I promise that my next post won't be another rant...although I can't promise anything about the post after that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
Congratulations! You are now officially a mom! LOL! I'm hoping that the second time around, people figure you know what you're doing. Otherwise, I'm going to have to use a lot of restraint to keep from slapping some people!
Oh how I wish I could tell you that this is going to be an isolated incident but alas it isn't! And just for the record I am SURE Eli was as happy as a bug in a rug.
Joanna, it will only get worse before it gets better. I've learned that it's easiest when people do this to just nod and say, "wow, that's a really good idea." Then I imagine myself karate chopping them and do whatever I want anyway. :)
"Put something over his mouth!" What was she thinking! I was a bit relieved to read the blog twice: making sure it didn't say "relative" but said "relative stranger" whew..... :o)
By the way, Eli is so cute in that video! His cheeks are chubbing; those big, dark eyes are so beautiful.
Oh man, you guys made a cute baby. I really want to see him in person. About the unsolicited advice, at least you're confident in yourself. When Cassie was fist born, I was totally paranoid about what I did with her, especially when certain sisters in the ward who had given me advice were around and I didn't want to offend them.
Emily (signed in on Trev's account)
My personal "favorite" unsolicited advice moments have come from elderly sisters in the ward who claim to have the perfect solutions for getting children to sit still during Sacrament meeting. There is one lady in my ward who needs to come with a warning notice when a new young mother with children moves into the ward because every single one of us has broken down crying at least once. I like how Mitzi put it, "You are now officially a mom!"
You handled it well, Joanna! Eli is adorable and I hope we get to meet him soon.
Wow. That lady must have been having a rough day and felt you were the only one she might control. We were at sea world last month, and a lady told my sister in law (who had her 4 month old bundled up NEXT TO HER) that she was worried that the baby wasn't getting enough oxygen! When she walked away we laughed our heads off. Some people.
What a little cutie. I love his big eyes, so adorable. It's hard to tell, but he seems like a good mix of both of you.
What a cute kid! Love the tongue (that word just took me forever to spell!).
Oh I hope I haven't given you any advice. I try to be aware of what I say to moms with babies. That's the worst stage for commentary from strangers and friends and family! Even something harmless like 'awww, he must be hungry' would tick me off! Because I'm thinking "YOU DON'T FEED A BABY EVERY TIME HE CRIES!" It'll get better... hmmm I take that back. Maybe you just get used to it. Just prepare your ego when you go to the grocery store (and church) because that's when most of the 'advice' comes. Ridiculous! Oh and I agree with Ginger and the karate chopping.
That's ridiculous! I would have been so mad if that happened to me. Maybe she didn't realize that if you put something over his mouth, he wouldn't be able to breathe. Hmmm . . .
Ok first things first, Eli is adorable. I'm glad to hear that everyone is happy and healthy. As far as the advice thing goes TX is way worse then UT on that front. Anything colder then 70 degrees is considered blizzard by most and requires dressing for massive amounts of snow. Also if you are under the age of 18 you are too young to be out in weather that cold at all unless absolutely required. Just remeber you're mom and mom always knows best. If you think he is ok then smile nod and move on. Besides the ones giving the most advice are usually the ones with the kids running crazy screaming through the store.
First of all he is such a cutie! I think I would have told that lady to put something over HER mouth...
Don't worry, it doesn't get better you just learn how to deal with it better. Although I am still trying to figure out how to deal with the comment, " wow, she's going to need surgery on those ears before she's a teenager."
I wish you had said you better put something over your mouth you're getting rude and jogged off.
Post a Comment